Apple is the best phone manufacturer in the world and this month, they proved their dominance once again by releasing the iPhone 6.
The moment a sharply-dressed Tim Cook stepped up on stage and revealed the iPhone 6, it instantly became the best smartphone in the world.
No Android in the world today can compete with the iPhone 6. Here are 5 reasons why Android users should be prepared to bow down to their new Apple overlords:
5) Apple Pay heroically introduces America to tap-to-pay credit cards
For years, every developed country in the world outside the United States has used PIN-based credit cards.
Over the past few years, those PIN-based credit cards have given way to tap-to-pay credit cards. You just tap your credit card, enter a PIN, and walk away. That’s it.
In America, for whatever reason, banks hate PIN-based credit cards. They prefer the method of payment where you swipe a magnetic piece of plastic through an antiquated card reader and then scribble absolutely anything on a thin piece of paper.
Apple Pay aims to heroically welcome America to 2014. Apple Pay lets you pay for anything with a simple wave or tap of your iPhone 6.
Sure, Android may have added mobile payment technology and NFC support years ago. But they didn’t give it a catchy name like Apple Pay.
Obviously, there’s no way Apple could mess this up. Apple has a proven track record of keeping everybody’s data secure and responding promptly to serious security flaws. Giving Apple total access to your banking information is just the smart thing to do.
4) You get to impress poor people with your brand prestige
We all know that Android is for poor people. Impoverished people in India and China love Androids.
Do you really want to be seen using something that poor people in India and China use? LOL of course not.
Why would you pay $99 for a quadHD smartphone on a two-year contract when you can pay twice that amount for a phone with a lower resolution than your laptop?
Brand prestige is one of the best parts about owning an iPhone 6. People practically goggle at you in admiration as you walk down the street.
Don’t be surprised if you even get a few people groveling in your direction. That’s just the Apple advantage. They’re undoubtedly wondering what kind of job you have where you can afford a phone that costs $1,080.
If you want to maximize the brand prestige on your new iPhone 6, don’t forget to order the gold edition. Just tell people that it’s real gold. Peasants won’t know the difference.
3) You can expand your storage simply by paying Apple an extra $100
One of the worst parts about Android is its expandable storage.
First, you have to pay $20 to $50 for a 32GB to 128GB microSD card. Then, you have to open the back of your phone and slide that card into the microSD slot. If you manage to figure out all those steps, then you just quadrupled your phone’s storage space.
On Apple, getting more storage is way simpler than that. You simply add an extra $100 to your order.
Do you want a 64GB iPhone 6? That costs $399 on a two-year contract. Do you want double that amount of storage space? Just pay $399.
How easy is that?
While Android users slave over the backs of their phones with soldering irons trying desperately to install a microSD card, Apple users laugh at how easy it was to expand their storage space.
2) Nobody needs more battery life
The iPhone 5 had impressive battery life. The phone lasted for about 6 hours (!!!) – which is more than enough time to make it to lunch every day.
With the iPhone 6, Apple listened to iPhone fans. Apple knows its users don’t really care about meaningless things like battery life, so instead of substantially increasing battery life, Apple made the iPhone 6 the thinnest and lightest iPhone yet.
The iPhone 6 also added another 230mAh of battery power to the iPhone 6. That brings the total capacity up to a mindblowing 1,800mAh. That definitely won’t be a problem for the higher resolution, bigger screen size, and new A8/M8 processor chips.
Meanwhile, stupid phones like the Galaxy Note 4 have 3,220 mAh batteries and last for 11 hours. Who needs that?
Why are Android users so obsessed with longer-lasting batteries? Maybe it’s because they’re working longer shifts at work to try to afford a real phone. LOL.
1) Because Androids are bigger than iPhones and bigger phones are dumb
Android users must be really insecure about the size of their toys because they sure do love to talk about screen size.
The point is: bigger Android screens are dumb. You need gigantic hands to use them. Plus, videos are annoyingly clear and sharp due to the high resolution. It’s enough to give you a headache.
That’s why Apple created the perfectly-sized smartphone: the iPhone 5. And then Steve Jobs promised the world that Apple would never make a larger phone than 4 inches.
Why would anyone want to use a smartphone that’s too big to use with one hand? With the iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus, it’s nice to see Apple sticking to its promise of smaller screens.
Oh wait.
