One of the best parts about the release of the iPhone 6 has been the sheer number of troll articles that have emerged.
It turns out Android fans get really mad when you write an article talking about how the iPhone 6 is better than any Android – even if that article is obviously fake.
I stumbled across another article today which attempted to troll Android users. And like many other troll articles out there, this one lured in quite a few Android fanboys.
That article is titled “iPhone 6 vs. Android: 9 Signs You’re a Samsung User Who Should Switch to Apple”. It was written by Fionna Agomuoh over at IBTimes.com. The article isn’t really a troll piece, because Fionna genuinely seems to believe the iPhone 6 is the best piece of technology ever made.
But still, some of the points she makes are just silly. I’ve summed up the 9 points of the article below for your amusement (along with a rebuttal from Android-land):
9) “You only chose Android for the large screen”
Fionna argues that Androids only have one killer feature over the iPhone: larger screens. Now that the iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus are on the market, that killer feature is no longer exclusive to Android.
If you really are using Android just for its bigger screen – and not for its superior battery life, better resolutions, customization, extensive range of apps, and versatility with all different pieces of technology – then yeah, maybe you should get an iPhone.
8) “You find Android interfaces too difficult”
Back in the early days of Android 1 and 2, the interface was years behind iOS. It didn’t take long for Google to catch up, however, and today, Android is arguably the easiest OS to use.
Fionna, however, argues that “the variation in the software might be too much for a layman user.”
I know grandparents who are happily using Samsungs. Obviously, some Android UIs are easier than others, but I’ve always had more trouble with the iPhone interface than any Android interface. There’s not even a back button!
7) “You’re frustrated by infrequent Android updates”
This is one of the few genuine advantages Apple has over modern Android devices. Apple only has a handful of iPhones with a set number of resolutions, screen sizes, and tech specs. That makes it ridiculously easy to release new operating systems.
There are thousands of different Android devices. The only devices which receive Android updates directly from Google are Nexus devices, while Google sends the other updates through manufacturers and carriers.
So yeah, this is a legitimate complaint. But still, Android users end up receiving more updates because Android is updated more frequently than iOS.
6) “Your entire electronics ecosystem is Apple except your phone”
Apple might be the worst tech company in the world in terms of locking its devices, using proprietary platforms, and generally preventing any other device from being compatible with its stuff.
That makes it difficult to use Apple products with anything but an iPhone. Once again, this is a legitimate complaint. I don’t know why you would buy an Android at all if you used other Apple products like an iPad, Macbook, iPod, or Apple TV.
5) “You’re concerned about safety”
This is where Fionna gets a little ridiculous. Apple recently underwent a major hacking scandal which was almost entirely their fault. Furthermore, Apple has previously demonstrated a lax approach to user security with easily-fixable problems like the Flashback virus.
Fionna writes “…for some, owning an Apple device gives an extra sense of security.”
It was that extra “sense” of security that made people believe their iPhone’s Camera Roll photos were protected – when in reality, Apple was automatically uploading those photos to iCloud for the entire world to see.
That being said, Apple’s main security advantage is that all apps on the iTunes Store are manually approved by Apple.
That’s good and bad. It means Apple is lacking many of the apps which make Android awesome, and it also means that Apple has the power to randomly ban any apps which don’t align with its own moral views.
Google doesn’t manually approve every app on the Play Store, but there are many other layers of security in placewhich prevent 99% of Android users from ever being infected with a virus. In fact, some experts say that Android is “almost impenetrable to malware”.
If you are concerned about safety, I would recommend Android over iPhone any day of the week.
4) “You’re interested in Apple Watch / Apple Pay”
Apple is making the unsurprising decision to lock the iPhone 6’s NFC chip, which means it will only be used for Apple Watch and Apple Pay. You can thank Apple for once again discouraging innovation.
So if you’re interested in either of these two technologies, you’ve got to get an iPhone 6.
But really, tap-to-pay credit cards shouldn’t amaze too many people these days. This isn’t 2012. Visa and MasterCard have both offered tap-to-pay credit cards for well over a year.
3) “You can’t decide on which Android device you want”
Out of all the points on this list, this one makes me the angriest. If you can’t decide which smartphone to buy, you should just give up?
That’s what Fionna suggests: “If you’re unsure, an easier question might be: Do I choose the large iPhone or the larger iPhone?”
I recommend asking yourself this question when shopping for Androids: “Should I buy this Android phone from 2.5 years ago that is more powerful than the iPhone 6? Or should I buy this Android phone from six months ago that is nearly twice as powerful and superior to the iPhone 6 in nearly all categories?”
2) “The new iPhone will be available in just a few days”
The iPhone 6 went up for sale on September 19 and millions of people pre-ordered the device. Like with every subsequent iPhone launch, this launch will likely be the largest in Apple’s history.
But here’s the problem: Apple is facing major problems with its preorders and some buyers have been faced with a wait time of several weeks due to stock shortages. Do you think your local carrier is going to receive new iPhone 6 orders before Apple gives them out to customers who preordered? Probably not.
So if you need a new phone right now, you have two options: wait for whenever Apple gets around to fulfilling iPhone 6 orders, or buy a brand new Android today.
1) “You want the new U2 album”
Shut up. Nobody wants that new album.
In spite of that fact, Apple, in all its totalitarian wisdom, is forcing it upon users and making it amazingly difficult to delete the album.
Not to mention, of course, that the U2 album is free to all iTunes users – not just iPhone users.
Once again, you can read Fionna’s article here. Fionna conveniently forgets to mention pricing, battery life, resolution, and other killer features that make Android the most popular OS in the world today.
But who cares about that when you’ve got brand prestige?